Heartbeat
by LuvBolt
Summary: Manny chooses acting instead of university. The way her life could have been
1. Hopes and Dreams

Heart Beat

"So you're going to be an actress on West Drive?" Emma asked. She watched as her best friend waltzed inside. Manny held out her Smithdale papers and Emma took them, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm stoked." Manny flashed her a smile. "It's my dream come true."

"Well, _I'll_ miss you." Emma said. "I thought we were going to be roomies."

Manny felt a pang as she realized she was crushing Emma's college-girl dream. However, this was her dream. She'd wanted to be an actress ever since being in the Kevin Smith movie. Something inside of her had clicked, and...Manny knew.

"This is right for me, Em. Like my dad said the only bad decision is indecision. And that? Is something that I don't have."

Emma hugged her. "Well, I guess I can always tune on the tube on Friday nights to see you in action, right?"

Manny grinned. "So you're not mad at me?"

"Mad, Manny why would I be mad at you? You're going after your dream." She admired her friend for that. "All I can do is wish you lots of luck."

"And all I can do for you Em, is ride to Smithdale with you."

The two friends smiled at each other, unaware of the changes about to take place in their lives.

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It was the day. Manny stood with Emma and Liberty as the girls gazed up at Smithdale University. Liberty was a bundle of excitement, eyes bright and taking in everything. Emma was busy hugging her mother, looking slightly annoyed.

"I can't believe you're not going with us." Liberty said to Manny. "It just...doesn't seem right."

"I have bigger fish to fry." Manny said. She smiled. "Besides, then I can invite you crazy college girls up to Vancouver." She winked. "We can party like rock stars."

"Just not too much partying." Emma reminded. Manny winced at the reminder of doing coke with Craig. "Of course not." She brushed off Emma's slander to her past. "Just some best friend type fun."

"Well girls." Spike Simpson said. "We're going to go, Jack is getting fussy. If you need us--"

"We'll call, Mom." Emma assured her. "Right, Lib?"

Liberty nodded.

"I guess this is goodbye." Manny said. She wrapped her arms around both girls. "I'll see you in a few months." She promised. Manny waved to Emma and Liberty, following the adults back to the mini Van.

She felt another pang, wondering if she'd made the right decision. Strapping the seat belt across her lap, Manny forced herself to think of the brighter horizons that she would be facing.

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"Come on, Santos!" The director barked at her. "Get it right!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Manny apologized. She stood on the set of her character's room in Vancouver. This was the thirteenth take this evening. She struggled to stay composed and not go off on the man. "I _know_ my lines."

"Then _act_ like it." The director barked. "Act like you have some common sense! Daisy leans over, lets her boobs fall out into Brendan's face."

Brendan, or rather Jace was looking bored. "It's not like I haven't seen boobs before." He commented.

Manny eyed him. She really wanted to kick Jace. He was such a jerk. He'd been making rude comments about nailing her ever since she'd come on the set. If it had been anyone else but Jace Montgomery this might be easier. But the fact was, it wasn't. "OK." Manny told herself. "You can do this. It's simple."

"Apparently _not_ so simple." Smirked Jace.

Giving him a withering glare, Manny put her Daisy Fuentes smile on. "OK, I'm ready."

"Show me." Shouted the director.

Manny leaned over. Her hands were on the bed and Jace was backed up on it. "Oh come on, Brendan." She said in a sultry voice. "Kim doesn't have to know. It can be our—our—secret." She nearly choked on the words. It was like a flashback of her own teen life. "I can keep a secret." Manny whispered the last words. She pressed her breasts into Jace's face.

"And cut!"

Finally. Manny started to pull back but Jace grabbed her. "I don't think so! Make out time!" he started to kiss her, but Manny took a pillow and whacked him with it. Hard. "Get off me, sleazeball!" She exclaimed.

The crew members and cast mates who were in the audience laughed. Jace looked pissed. Manny smoothed her shirt, crossing arms over it. "Are we done?"

"Finally." The director said. "Remember, Santos. Daisy is a seducer. She wants Brendan at any cost."

Manny felt like major deja vu was going on. She nodded, fake smile in place. The cast was free to go after this. Manny walked down the hall, shaking her head. She grabbed her jacket and slipped it on. At times she wished she was in Smithdale with Emma and Liberty. Being an actress on West Drive wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

"Hey Santos." Brad said walking over to her. "I saw what happened. Don't fret. Jace is a jackass."

"Yeah, got the memo on that." Manny belted her jacket and picked up the scripts for next week. "I'm going home." She said. "To learn my lines and veg on television."

"Or." Brad eyed her. "You could hang out with me and the boyfriend, do something fun for a change?"

"Like?"

"There's this wicked little Toronto club called Voodoo." Brad said. "We go there all the time. Awesome live bands. Travis buys all the drinks. You in?"

Manny looked thoughtful. "I should do my lines but...I'm not one to turn down a Rum and Coke?" She looked hopeful.

Brad smiled, wrapped his arms around the brunette actress. "Come along, little one!" He said in a fake accent. "We shall dine and feast and drink."

Laughing, Manny swatted at him. "You're such a dork." But he made her feel better, like she was human and that's what she needed right now.

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Voodoo was packed. It was a nice little club and Manny sipped the drink Travis bought her. She liked Brad, he made her smile. He was one of the few nice members of West Drive. She was really surprised at how high school it was like. In a way Manny felt that she hadn't even left Degrassi. The main actress, Belinda Moore played Dinah Rhodes. She reminded Manny of a sharper Paige.

"What do you think?" Brad shouted over the band that was playing. They were an all girl rock band, reminiscent of Joan Jett. Manny actually kind of liked them.

"Of the band? They're awesome!"

"No, of Voodoo."

"Oh—I like it too. Busy." Manny swirled her straw in the Coke.

"Travis is thinking of buying it." Travis was at the bar buying a new round of drinks.

"Wow, really?" Manny asked. "So—are you giving up West Drive? Being Kirk Holmes?"

Brad shrugged. "To be honest? I'm kind of over it. I love acting. I love it and always will. But...it just pays the bills. I want to do something that makes me happy. Like music."

Arching a slender, dark eyebrow Manny smiled. "You sing? My aren't we of many hidden secrets lately." She teased.

"I don't sing. I play guitar." Brad replied. "Travis plays guitar. Our friend Byron plays the drums. We're looking for a lead singer." he explained. He tapped along to the song the girl band—Broken Petals—were playing. "If we buy Voodoo, we can play and book bands. It makes for good money if you're good at it."

"Good luck getting a singer." Said Manny.

"Do you sing?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "I was in choir for a while in school you know. I sang for Drama Club but...I really...sucked."

Brad was analyzing her with his eyes. He smiled sneakily. Manny eyed him back, shaking her head. Her long hair swung from side to side. "Not. Even. In a Million Years."

"Come on Manny. You can at least audition and we can see how you sound."

"No!"

"No what?" Travis asked. He returned with the drinks. He sat one down in front of Brad, handed Manny her new one.

"For Manny to be our lead singer for Blazing Suns." Brad grinned at his boyfriend. "What do you think? With her looks, we could make something out of it."

"It's not all about looks, Mr. Vanity." Travis countered and rolled his eyes. "We have to see if Miss Manny can sing first of all. We've got to see how she moves on the stage."

"I can't!" Manny exclaimed, shock in her face. "I don't sing. I act."

"So then we'll be all Robert Palmer and dress her up Vamp-rific." Brad was liking this idea. He nodded. "I can see her in white face paint, vampire red lips can't you?"

"Shut up, Brad." Manny hissed. "I'm not singing or being a Go go girl on your little project."

Broken Petals ended their set. Manny shook her head. "You two? Have obviously had too much to drink. I'm going to the bathroom. When I come back I want my real friends back." She warned them. She extended a finger.

Travis laughed, delighted. Brad was just smirking at her. He looked confident. With a humph, Manny headed towards the bathroom. Like she was going to get up on stage and sing...those two must've inhaled way too many hair dye fumes.

TBC


	2. Nightmare's Favor

-1_She stood there, staring out at the audience. Manny closed her eyes and opened her mouth, a slight wheezing sound coming from the mic. This wasn't how she wanted her first impression to be. What was she doing up here anyway? Manny tried again, and again there was just a wheezing noise. _

"_Hey!" A familiar voice called. "We paid for entertainment, so sing!"  
_

_The audience was dark and she couldn't really see well. Manny peered into the sea of people. She tried to sing the song Travis had given her, but nothing was coming out. Just that strangled and wheezing sound. It wasn't good. _

"_Sing! Sing!" Came a chorus of voices. _

_And then, a sarcastic voice welled up. "We all knew she was talent-less. Can't act, can't sing. Take your top off!"_

_Hurt, Manny tried to peer into the audience. She couldn't see from who the sarcastic, mean comment came from. She tried to speak. _

_  
Suddenly, the audience brightened. Manny looked into it and saw all the people from her past--Emma, Liberty, Peter Stone, Darcy Edwards, even her two recent exes Jay Hogart and Craig Manning were in seats. "I--" Finally her voice came back. "I do too have talent!" _

"_So then why did you choose Smithdale over us?" Liberty asked. "Were you afraid of being in college and doing what real people did?"_

_Liberty had never spoken to Manny in such a cold, biting way. She glanced over at Emma, who's face was a mask--nothing warm in it at all, nothing. In fact she was sneering at her. Manny swallowed. "No. I wanted to pursue my dreams."_

"_What about my dreams?" A voice asked. Manny gazed into the crowd and saw that it had come from Craig. _

"_What do you mean, your dreams?" Asked Manny. "You are--searching for your dreams."_

"_No, my dreams. Music is just something that I'm good at. I wanted a family. You killed that dream, Manny. Murderer!" _

_Manny swallowed as several of the audience members nodded. She gazed at her friends for help but none of them rose to the occasion. _

"_I--" Startled and stunned Manny didn't know what to do. "I wanted to do the right thing, Craig. I wasn't even sixteen--"_

"_You killed my dreams. Why should you get one?"_

"_What about me?" Jay stood up next. Manny shook her head. "You? You did that yourself. You turned back into someone I don't want to know!" She flared. _

"_You're right, Stone." Jay said. "She's got no talent--except for running her mouth and flashing her breasts! Let's show the world the real Manny Santos…" _

_Jay moved to a huge spotlight, whirled it around and flashed it on her. Manny staggered backwards against the light and heard the cat calls. She heard the laughter then, and looked down. _

_She was stark naked. _

_Covering herself, Manny glanced at Emma. "Emma--don't--you can't. I want to be on West Drive, I want to be an actress." She felt her eyes well up with tears. "Please, I need you!"_

"_I needed you, Manny. You were too selfish to care. Now go be an actress on Pay-Per-View." _

_The bright light blinded her. There were cruel taunts and calls, and Manny couldn't do anything about it. "No. I'm going to be an actress. Wait--you'll see--"_

She heard a loud shriek. Defending. The dream faded and Manny sat up as her alarm shrieked at her. She punched the button on it and sighed. Seven. Time to get going to the studio, get ready for rehearsal.

Climbing out of bed Manny noticed her cell phone was buzzing. She glanced down and saw it was from Emma--she'd missed five texts. Reading them it told her that Emma would be able to come for a visit during fall break. Liberty had to accompany her family back home.

Sweet.

Manny showered and changed into black stretch pants and a long yellow shirt. She brushed her hair and didn't put on makeup since the stage crew would do that for her. Her breakfast consisted of a bagel with cream cheese and black coffee.

She made it to work right before she was late. Jace was waiting for her. "Well if it isn't Sexy Santos." he laughed once and Manny felt her dream come back to her. She shook her head. "Get a life Jace. You're not funny."

"But you trying to act? That so was. What are you doing here, anyway?"

Manny glared at the actor and unrolled her script. She began to do her scene in her head when the director yelled for them. Rolling her eyes, the brunette did the takes without getting yelled at today.

Lunchtime was bliss with Travis and Brad. She had a burger and fries. Most of the time she tried to eat light but this…she really needed it.

"Rough day huh kid?" Brad asked.

"You could say." Manny said. "Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision you know? I mean…Smithdale…it could've had so many oppertunities there. Don't you think?"

She saw the two men exchange glances. "You know, you can quit and go to school." Travis said.

"No--I'm already Daisy…I mean…what would happen to her?"

"She'd either die, get pregnant and leave or…go into a coma." Brad laughed. "What's so bad about that?"

"Nothing I guess." Manny took a sip of soda. "You know, I'm still not going to sing for you two at Voodoo."

Travis smirked. "Oh, come on cutie! You could do it. Can you harmonize?"

"No!" Manny laughed. "Not even. I don't sing." She paused. "But, I know someone who does." Her dream floated to her, but Manny shrugged it off. "And you know something? He owes me a favor."

Brad and Travis looked at one another, wondering just what Manny was up to.


End file.
